I’m Delaware, A Badass Motherfucker

Suck on that.

Uncle you were warned not to be left alone with, trying to blend into Delaware sign (Mark D. Walsall on Flickr)

I’m Delaware. You might know me as the small awkward girl with glasses in every ’80s movie — the one that gets a one-minute makeover in the bathroom by removing her glasses and ponytail scrunchie, swooping her head down, then up, to reveal she’s actually hot as hell.

That’s right: Joe Biden’s presidency turned me into that girl.